Continuing in Renewel

I feel like I have been able to make decisions a little bit easier, and be more clear headed about things. Since my fog has passed, I have been resting more- a few naps here and there never hurt anyone!, not getting up and going to the gym at 7am, and staying up late worrying. Nah, none of that. I have been also eating healthier, actual meals because I am so much more active up here! And not schedualing like ten coffee dates (expensive and overwhelming) in one week. I took a look at myself in this past year, since I have grown so much in spirituality, organization, fitness, friends, and family, the root of that was a fear of losing it and going back to my old ways. But that is an unhealthy way to think, that is pressure too and I need to release that pressure and turn that into TRUSTING that God will take care of me and that if I just keep on pursuing Him and doing the right stuff, there is no way that I will back track...it just doesn't make any sense. So my next task is to just learn to have fun and balancing being responsible and enjoying life to the fullest. Not putting so much pressure to to so many things at once. I have learned that I am very slow. Slow with my memory- super absent minded, and slow with processing and adapting to new situations. I can't put too many things on my plate- so multi-tasking is not my favorite. But I am feeling so renewed and fresh. Myself again. It is a proccess, but I have the fuel right now. 


It is such a pretty day outside, autumn leaves are surrounding the ground, and the sunshine streaming through the yellow and burnt orange leaves is such a beaut. I went to first Friday last friday at Calvary Chapel Petaluma with Inter Varsity and the theme was meditating and singing about God's love. How deep, long, wide, massive as an eternal sea. Pastor Zach gave a beautiful visual of imagining God's love is an endless and eternal ocean that goes on in all directions and there is a beach with a little boy, who's holding a little petite tea cup and runs out to the MASSIVE ocean and tries to fill his small little cup with the water. That is like us and God's love. In our life, we try so hard to get closer to God, but in His great majesty, in reality His love is so uncomprehendably (yah thats a word) big that we only experience out little cup full. And how much more we get to be revealed in heaven!