I was talking with my girl Kristen the other day, about not knowing if we are really saved. I have been battling with this thought for all semester, hearing different church sermons on it. It is convicting, because there are verses in the Bible about letting your belief be whole hearted and not half hearted. "Love the Lord with ALL you heart, soul, mind, and strength." But He doesn forgive beyond imagination. So that is why I am torn sometimes thinking about if I am being forgiven clean, yet still am not worthy of heaven. Because, yes, there is a verse saying "we all fall short of the glory of God" and we all need a savior, however, we do not know the borderline of the decision of how worthy one is. All I know is that I am trusting God, I am questioning because I am interested, and that is okay to question your beliefs because how else are you going to grow if you just stay in one spot? But I am sidetracking, anyways...borderline...it is a scary thing..it is a real thing to think about...so trust God in any event.
My struggles lately:
Being slow to anger and being patient. The Lord hit me with a hard dose of patience on my way home from Sonoma, dropped my friend off in LA and got WAY lost. But it was a beautiful thing yesterday, as I was driving in the shining sun with no traffic, and then there became a slight bit of traffic at the very end, me not getting tensed up about it because I had been thru
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
thinking
So i just had a sudden realization..have been thinking about my future lately, college does that to you somehow its weird i know.. and i think the reason why i have been wanting this huge career, or the main reason is because of my mom and how she is SO independant from everyone. she is in health care, i want to be in health care, she went to grad school, i want to go to grad school, she did all of these tests to get her administraters liscence, i want to become a councelor as well as get my masters- it was just all of these things coming to me all at once when i was stretching in the rec center just about 5 min ago. I HAD to write this down. I havent written in like an entire month and just got the super passionate crave. Since I havent' been able to talk to mac, i always have the coolest conversations with him, he just gets me, and sometimes i just really wish i could talk to him, but now idk if that is something in the blue prints anymore because of what happened last sunday. I am not going to dwell on that though, because God will take care of me and I need to talk to him, because he made mac, he made those converstions, which means he is that cool, and beyond cooler than all of that, and I need to hang out with him, because he is cooler than anything/anyone I have ever met or will meet.
But anyways, getting back to my future, I just kind of phsycho-analyzed myself, kinda cool- thanks God- and learned how much your family background or the background you grow up in impacts you with how you turn out as a human being. I am going to further this study and ask people about their background growing up and see if it has impacted them with: their dreams of career paths, morals, love, and other personal characteristics. I want to learn about people's pasts because it really gives insight on who they are. It is a really fast way to get to know one's characteristics.
Possible career paths besides the one I am on now (being a PT or family health therapist with masters in dietetics):
soci major-idk what i would do with that, somethin coo.
teacher- little kids
youth director
I give these things up to God. Whew. Future, you are unknown at the moment. But the world won't stop turning and God won't stop working, so that is good! He is working right now :)
He is the only thing I can look to for trust and guidance or else my life would be in a crazy storm right now. I know He has a plan, because it is promised in the Bible, and I pray that God will give me guidance, passion, and peace to carry on with abundant love for Him. Amen.
But anyways, getting back to my future, I just kind of phsycho-analyzed myself, kinda cool- thanks God- and learned how much your family background or the background you grow up in impacts you with how you turn out as a human being. I am going to further this study and ask people about their background growing up and see if it has impacted them with: their dreams of career paths, morals, love, and other personal characteristics. I want to learn about people's pasts because it really gives insight on who they are. It is a really fast way to get to know one's characteristics.
Possible career paths besides the one I am on now (being a PT or family health therapist with masters in dietetics):
soci major-idk what i would do with that, somethin coo.
teacher- little kids
youth director
I give these things up to God. Whew. Future, you are unknown at the moment. But the world won't stop turning and God won't stop working, so that is good! He is working right now :)
He is the only thing I can look to for trust and guidance or else my life would be in a crazy storm right now. I know He has a plan, because it is promised in the Bible, and I pray that God will give me guidance, passion, and peace to carry on with abundant love for Him. Amen.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Hillarycan Dream
I am not influenced.
I will not microwave processed burritos, only on those unforgettable nightly adventures when gearing up or cooling down from saying “anything can happen.”
I will not watch daytime television such as According to Jim, no more sitcoms, no talk shows, no “reality”, no infomercials.
No no no no no. I will not do these things.”
I will sit in my bowl chair butterfly legs, hatched in my mind’s life view, straying and straying and straying and shouting and sprinting away from conformity, carrying God in my fanny pack.
Now I will go get my Red burrito from the mailbox.
I am not influenced.
I will not microwave processed burritos, only on those unforgettable nightly adventures when gearing up or cooling down from saying “anything can happen.”
I will not watch daytime television such as According to Jim, no more sitcoms, no talk shows, no “reality”, no infomercials.
No no no no no. I will not do these things.”
I will sit in my bowl chair butterfly legs, hatched in my mind’s life view, straying and straying and straying and shouting and sprinting away from conformity, carrying God in my fanny pack.
Now I will go get my Red burrito from the mailbox.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Continuing in Renewel
I feel like I have been able to make decisions a little bit easier, and be more clear headed about things. Since my fog has passed, I have been resting more- a few naps here and there never hurt anyone!, not getting up and going to the gym at 7am, and staying up late worrying. Nah, none of that. I have been also eating healthier, actual meals because I am so much more active up here! And not schedualing like ten coffee dates (expensive and overwhelming) in one week. I took a look at myself in this past year, since I have grown so much in spirituality, organization, fitness, friends, and family, the root of that was a fear of losing it and going back to my old ways. But that is an unhealthy way to think, that is pressure too and I need to release that pressure and turn that into TRUSTING that God will take care of me and that if I just keep on pursuing Him and doing the right stuff, there is no way that I will back track...it just doesn't make any sense. So my next task is to just learn to have fun and balancing being responsible and enjoying life to the fullest. Not putting so much pressure to to so many things at once. I have learned that I am very slow. Slow with my memory- super absent minded, and slow with processing and adapting to new situations. I can't put too many things on my plate- so multi-tasking is not my favorite. But I am feeling so renewed and fresh. Myself again. It is a proccess, but I have the fuel right now.
It is such a pretty day outside, autumn leaves are surrounding the ground, and the sunshine streaming through the yellow and burnt orange leaves is such a beaut. I went to first Friday last friday at Calvary Chapel Petaluma with Inter Varsity and the theme was meditating and singing about God's love. How deep, long, wide, massive as an eternal sea. Pastor Zach gave a beautiful visual of imagining God's love is an endless and eternal ocean that goes on in all directions and there is a beach with a little boy, who's holding a little petite tea cup and runs out to the MASSIVE ocean and tries to fill his small little cup with the water. That is like us and God's love. In our life, we try so hard to get closer to God, but in His great majesty, in reality His love is so uncomprehendably (yah thats a word) big that we only experience out little cup full. And how much more we get to be revealed in heaven!
It is such a pretty day outside, autumn leaves are surrounding the ground, and the sunshine streaming through the yellow and burnt orange leaves is such a beaut. I went to first Friday last friday at Calvary Chapel Petaluma with Inter Varsity and the theme was meditating and singing about God's love. How deep, long, wide, massive as an eternal sea. Pastor Zach gave a beautiful visual of imagining God's love is an endless and eternal ocean that goes on in all directions and there is a beach with a little boy, who's holding a little petite tea cup and runs out to the MASSIVE ocean and tries to fill his small little cup with the water. That is like us and God's love. In our life, we try so hard to get closer to God, but in His great majesty, in reality His love is so uncomprehendably (yah thats a word) big that we only experience out little cup full. And how much more we get to be revealed in heaven!
Fresh Me
Lately the latest::
The past month I have been inactive. Inactive in my thoughts, they have been a thick cloud in my head- like the Sonoma fog was actually sitting inside of my mind's eye. And I couldn't get out of it. It was a lost wilderness of a vast mixture of unnecessary stressers, unnessecary guilt and shame, which led to me getting mentally, spiritually, and physically sick. The unnessary stressers held hands with guilt and shame which were me putting too much pressure on myself being in a sorority. This desicion that should have been a slightly hard desision, due to the fear of hurting people's feelings and not being sure if I would regret dropping in the future, actually became shaky anxiety 24/7 and a half. For two and a half weeks this decision consumed my every thought- literally- and it therefor interFEARED with my relationships with friends, fam, and the Big Man...it was so bad. When my dad came to visit during one of those weekends, I could barely enjoy my time with him...so bad and I needed a release from those feelings. Prayed, prayed, prayed about it and God answered me loud and clear one night through my friend Kelsey. The answer was to drop, no one could make the decision but myself and I knew it in my heart to be true. Looking back, it was such a miniscuel decision that I put WAYY too much pressure on. I needed to be still and let God in and not be running around. It probably would have helped if I did what I am doing right now-which is NOTHING but worshipping God. Earbuds in the Lib listening and meditating on God and Him in my life. He likes it when we hang out with Him. Btw, about me dropping, I feel so much happier now and still get to co-lead with my two Gamma Phi Beta friends, Shelby and Sarah, in the Greek Bible Study which is SUCH A BLESSING that I get to do God's work in that ministry. Because I truly feel like God is calling me in that, and that me joining and being a part of a soririty was definitely in God's deck of cards for me because He used me to bring so many girls into faith! AMEN AMEN AMEN!
Soo even after going through that stressful experience, God still had something else to teach me about stress, and guilt and shame. I saw my dear friend Bryn do an amazing job when he came to Sonoma State to do a screening for Invisible Children, which is a horrid war that is currently going on in Uganda, Africa, where children are being forced into killing their families and being brainwashed into soldier-killing machines.
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/about
Yeah, it excuse me SUCKS. He took a semester off of college at Cal Poly San Louis Obispo (he's currently a sophomore) to do this full-time volunteer service. How SICK is that right?!?! He's such an inspiration to me for his sacrifice, and I became so obsessed with the idea of doing that next year. However, another thing on my agenda was to study abroad in France, and I had been talking to many different people about that and of course it would be amazing..life challenging and changing experience, gorgeous, traveling GALOR, yada yada yada amazing trip right?! However again, I was not stopping, chilling out, and really looking at my life and these two HUGE ideas with the bigger picture. I was getting confused about where God was in this..and the truth is...after another looong foggy two week period with the same thought slavery and shaky anxiety, God answered me through a cry session with my mom. She made everything cleared out and he sky was blue again, the fog had faded away. I am not ready for either of those desicions yet in my life for next year. It would drive me nuts like it was already, just thinking about them was driving me crazy. I need next year to BE. BE in Sonoma and really enjoy it here, I just up and left Orange County and that was a huge adjustment already and I was forgetting how much I have already went through to get where I am now; so I need to just BE here. I am taking this year to just feel things out, absorb new things and build friendships, next year will be a good establishment of all of those things. hahh, sigh of relief to because God is always greater and can use me in tremendous ways in Sonoma too! Anywhere. It was not right thinking of who God is and how and where He works. I don't need to have guilt and shame in thinking just because I am not jumping right this second in my life on board with serving with Invisible Children doesn't mean I should feel guilty that I am not taking God's call in going with them. I know that I am fit for the job and that God has created me with a passion for this cause, but at this point in my life, I am not ready for it.
SO that has been my stuff lately. And I feel like I am coming out of the fog and the wilderness. It feels SOOOO incredibly AMAZING to have those so so heavy weights lifted off of me and to be myself again. I praise God for leading me through and out of those storms and know there was a definite purpose of those crappy and stressful feelings because through those trials come a flow of many many blessings of peace, wisdom, and more knowledge of God's amazing love.
The past month I have been inactive. Inactive in my thoughts, they have been a thick cloud in my head- like the Sonoma fog was actually sitting inside of my mind's eye. And I couldn't get out of it. It was a lost wilderness of a vast mixture of unnecessary stressers, unnessecary guilt and shame, which led to me getting mentally, spiritually, and physically sick. The unnessary stressers held hands with guilt and shame which were me putting too much pressure on myself being in a sorority. This desicion that should have been a slightly hard desision, due to the fear of hurting people's feelings and not being sure if I would regret dropping in the future, actually became shaky anxiety 24/7 and a half. For two and a half weeks this decision consumed my every thought- literally- and it therefor interFEARED with my relationships with friends, fam, and the Big Man...it was so bad. When my dad came to visit during one of those weekends, I could barely enjoy my time with him...so bad and I needed a release from those feelings. Prayed, prayed, prayed about it and God answered me loud and clear one night through my friend Kelsey. The answer was to drop, no one could make the decision but myself and I knew it in my heart to be true. Looking back, it was such a miniscuel decision that I put WAYY too much pressure on. I needed to be still and let God in and not be running around. It probably would have helped if I did what I am doing right now-which is NOTHING but worshipping God. Earbuds in the Lib listening and meditating on God and Him in my life. He likes it when we hang out with Him. Btw, about me dropping, I feel so much happier now and still get to co-lead with my two Gamma Phi Beta friends, Shelby and Sarah, in the Greek Bible Study which is SUCH A BLESSING that I get to do God's work in that ministry. Because I truly feel like God is calling me in that, and that me joining and being a part of a soririty was definitely in God's deck of cards for me because He used me to bring so many girls into faith! AMEN AMEN AMEN!
Soo even after going through that stressful experience, God still had something else to teach me about stress, and guilt and shame. I saw my dear friend Bryn do an amazing job when he came to Sonoma State to do a screening for Invisible Children, which is a horrid war that is currently going on in Uganda, Africa, where children are being forced into killing their families and being brainwashed into soldier-killing machines.
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/about
Yeah, it excuse me SUCKS. He took a semester off of college at Cal Poly San Louis Obispo (he's currently a sophomore) to do this full-time volunteer service. How SICK is that right?!?! He's such an inspiration to me for his sacrifice, and I became so obsessed with the idea of doing that next year. However, another thing on my agenda was to study abroad in France, and I had been talking to many different people about that and of course it would be amazing..life challenging and changing experience, gorgeous, traveling GALOR, yada yada yada amazing trip right?! However again, I was not stopping, chilling out, and really looking at my life and these two HUGE ideas with the bigger picture. I was getting confused about where God was in this..and the truth is...after another looong foggy two week period with the same thought slavery and shaky anxiety, God answered me through a cry session with my mom. She made everything cleared out and he sky was blue again, the fog had faded away. I am not ready for either of those desicions yet in my life for next year. It would drive me nuts like it was already, just thinking about them was driving me crazy. I need next year to BE. BE in Sonoma and really enjoy it here, I just up and left Orange County and that was a huge adjustment already and I was forgetting how much I have already went through to get where I am now; so I need to just BE here. I am taking this year to just feel things out, absorb new things and build friendships, next year will be a good establishment of all of those things. hahh, sigh of relief to because God is always greater and can use me in tremendous ways in Sonoma too! Anywhere. It was not right thinking of who God is and how and where He works. I don't need to have guilt and shame in thinking just because I am not jumping right this second in my life on board with serving with Invisible Children doesn't mean I should feel guilty that I am not taking God's call in going with them. I know that I am fit for the job and that God has created me with a passion for this cause, but at this point in my life, I am not ready for it.
SO that has been my stuff lately. And I feel like I am coming out of the fog and the wilderness. It feels SOOOO incredibly AMAZING to have those so so heavy weights lifted off of me and to be myself again. I praise God for leading me through and out of those storms and know there was a definite purpose of those crappy and stressful feelings because through those trials come a flow of many many blessings of peace, wisdom, and more knowledge of God's amazing love.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Future(s)
I went to the Invisible Children screening tonight at my school. It was an especially exciting night because I got to see one of my very dear dear friends Bryn. He was my driver on the Christian houseboat camp I worked at this summer for three weeks. It was absolutely so refreshing and inspiring to see him talking up doing his thang with what he is so undoubtably passionate about and that he is a part of a movement so SO HUGE! It brought back so many beautiful memories talking with him about houseboats and the feelings I had there. I want to bring back those feelings and mindsets here at Sonoma because God is calling me to wake up. It is coming bit by bit, and every day I have to constantly ask God for help, and be humbled, or else I won't ever be able to do it just on my own. All of the glory goes to God and I am just exploding with passion after hearing everything about Bryn's journey and also the journey of so many passionate others who are living their lives not for themsleves but for others! It is so beautiful and I am on board 100%! I am trying to take all of this and say, now what for specifically you, Hill? What are you gonna do? Part of me wants to jump on board with Invisible Children and then part of me feels compelled to stay here at Sonoma and stir passion up here. I feel this part because the Greek Bible Study is so so good and is definitely stirring up hearts and I feel like God is calling me into that. This is all so exciting and it is SOOOOOO AMAZING what a group of people can do for the better when a group of people are all passionate about the same cause! Our generation is such a sponge with so much potential just waiting to feel that passion to soak up a cause or soak up into a purpose or a project that will make a definite difference! I have so much faith in our generation because it is already very apparant that we have alreas made a tremendous difference. I can't wait, I know God is calling me to an adventure in his name, further research will come of this. This night was spectacular :) I am so thrilled :)
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Greek Bible Study
it was the first one tonight! Crazy and exciting stuff how when passionate people come together and make something happen. I think that is the deal with our generation, we have so much potential and can do so much! Especially for the KINGDOM! GOD WANTS TO USE EVERYONE IN SO MANY AMAZING MIRACULOUS WAYS AND WE JUST HAVE TO TAKE THAT BABY STEP OUT TO TAKE RISKS! Let Him catch us :) But there were about 10 girls there, from different sororities. We met in the Tuscany town-house dorm rooms (like an apartment), had cookies, and discussed the passage 1 Timothy about fighting the good fight of faith. The conversation flowed really well, all of the girls shard their life experience little tid bits of info that was so welcoming and comfortable. We talked about God's unconditional love, self image of women (I want to focus more on that for our study, it is such a good topic for girls to know how beautiful they are) and made plans for some fun trips! I am so happy that me, Shelby, and Sara made this happen and that it turned out so well! Praise God! Amennnnn! I will keep an update on this. To be continued
Updation
Current location: happily at my great friend Jay's apartment- Sleepover!
So what's the latest?
I am in the national sorority Alpha Gamma Delta, it is going super well. All of the girls love me and I love them, I still have man to meet because there are 140ish girls total in our chapter, and 50 new members. Lots of names are hard to remember, but I am getting there :). Since there is so much going on with sorority (meeting every sunday, sisterhoods, retreats, etc..) and with school, trying to hang out with people and finding time for myself, I find myself realizing I am not the normal freshman college student. I am not just chillin like a villian all day, I want to decorate for Halloween but it is so hard trying to find time for that kind of stuff. I have to plan out now time to call my friends! I plan out my week, time management is breaking me in for sure, and I have responsibilities. I also started a greek Bible Study and a club called the FAA (Formal Attire Association). This club basically started out as a conversation between me and my friend Patrick about how we both love being classy people and how we should totally have tea parties and go to art galleries in San Fran...and then we actually started a chartered club called the FAA, and we put our pinkies in the air and get FUNDING from the school for going places! I am the treasurer, Patrick is the President, and we have a secretary and a public relations person too! I am trying to keep up with my studies and keep in touch with my friends from home. I miss them every day and I think it is so hard to tell the people you care about really and truly how much you love them, God, please help me with that. Home has been on my mind; my roots, my family traditions. I think you refer back to how you were raised and your family so much when you are away from it. Naturally, that is a normal feeling and those thoughts are normal. It is fascinating. I have switched over to Almond Milk, if an of you were wondering my milk status, it is so much better tasting and so much better for you! I recommend it for sure! I have been keeping up with the Kardashians :) and Desperate Housewives. I have been trying every day to have my quiet time with the Lord in the morning and surrender to what He wants me to do every day throughout the day. He is always there, and I have been still growing in my faith :).
I love smashing words together, hence updation. My friend, Liz just showed me her friend's newly opened cafe in Hawaii (so adorable) called ChadLou...her father and mother's names smashed together. My theme that has been ongoing lately is WHO CARES?! I am an alien to this world, this culture, this society of quote unquote "fitting in". I am a square peg on top of a round hole, irregularly shaped from this world, however in the midst of living in it. Too many people need to stop caring about what everyone else thinks and start thinking about who they are, taking a real look inside themselves because everyone is absolutely magnificent. Just look at history, how far we as a human race have come, all of the inventions, theories, formulas, etc that people have come up with; how amazing! People are beautiful. I am utterly fascinated with people, and lately I have been wanting to study sociology, thinking about minoring in it with a major of Kinesiology. After all, love what you do, right? Absolutely. That is another thing I have been thinking about lately, just being in the place in my life of away from home at college, thinking about my future, I want to make an impact on the world in a positive way, and in many ways. For my generation, going against the norm, for God above all things, and He fits into everything; I am just a part of His plan. It all goes hand in hand. So, thinking about my future, I just want to make the most of my life, and so I have to love what I do. I want to study abroad in France, and I am going to do it no matter what, because when am I going to have such an amazing opportunity? Not again like this when I am so young and have the time without a job tying me down. I love my family and friends, but they will still love me and support me and be there when I come back, that is what home means!
Another though is that I love how in life, God jut arranges situations so incredibly perfectly down to the ti...how one situation affects another, like how I just influenced my friend Jay to start a blog, or how inviting someone to Bible study or to the gym when they haven't been in so long but have been "meaning to go" just sparks back their interest and because of just one person, they get back into it again! What a positive aspect of life :) Life is SO GRAND, and I want everyone to feel what I feel for life. I want people to feel joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control. All the fruits of the spirit.
So what's the latest?
I am in the national sorority Alpha Gamma Delta, it is going super well. All of the girls love me and I love them, I still have man to meet because there are 140ish girls total in our chapter, and 50 new members. Lots of names are hard to remember, but I am getting there :). Since there is so much going on with sorority (meeting every sunday, sisterhoods, retreats, etc..) and with school, trying to hang out with people and finding time for myself, I find myself realizing I am not the normal freshman college student. I am not just chillin like a villian all day, I want to decorate for Halloween but it is so hard trying to find time for that kind of stuff. I have to plan out now time to call my friends! I plan out my week, time management is breaking me in for sure, and I have responsibilities. I also started a greek Bible Study and a club called the FAA (Formal Attire Association). This club basically started out as a conversation between me and my friend Patrick about how we both love being classy people and how we should totally have tea parties and go to art galleries in San Fran...and then we actually started a chartered club called the FAA, and we put our pinkies in the air and get FUNDING from the school for going places! I am the treasurer, Patrick is the President, and we have a secretary and a public relations person too! I am trying to keep up with my studies and keep in touch with my friends from home. I miss them every day and I think it is so hard to tell the people you care about really and truly how much you love them, God, please help me with that. Home has been on my mind; my roots, my family traditions. I think you refer back to how you were raised and your family so much when you are away from it. Naturally, that is a normal feeling and those thoughts are normal. It is fascinating. I have switched over to Almond Milk, if an of you were wondering my milk status, it is so much better tasting and so much better for you! I recommend it for sure! I have been keeping up with the Kardashians :) and Desperate Housewives. I have been trying every day to have my quiet time with the Lord in the morning and surrender to what He wants me to do every day throughout the day. He is always there, and I have been still growing in my faith :).
I love smashing words together, hence updation. My friend, Liz just showed me her friend's newly opened cafe in Hawaii (so adorable) called ChadLou...her father and mother's names smashed together. My theme that has been ongoing lately is WHO CARES?! I am an alien to this world, this culture, this society of quote unquote "fitting in". I am a square peg on top of a round hole, irregularly shaped from this world, however in the midst of living in it. Too many people need to stop caring about what everyone else thinks and start thinking about who they are, taking a real look inside themselves because everyone is absolutely magnificent. Just look at history, how far we as a human race have come, all of the inventions, theories, formulas, etc that people have come up with; how amazing! People are beautiful. I am utterly fascinated with people, and lately I have been wanting to study sociology, thinking about minoring in it with a major of Kinesiology. After all, love what you do, right? Absolutely. That is another thing I have been thinking about lately, just being in the place in my life of away from home at college, thinking about my future, I want to make an impact on the world in a positive way, and in many ways. For my generation, going against the norm, for God above all things, and He fits into everything; I am just a part of His plan. It all goes hand in hand. So, thinking about my future, I just want to make the most of my life, and so I have to love what I do. I want to study abroad in France, and I am going to do it no matter what, because when am I going to have such an amazing opportunity? Not again like this when I am so young and have the time without a job tying me down. I love my family and friends, but they will still love me and support me and be there when I come back, that is what home means!
Another though is that I love how in life, God jut arranges situations so incredibly perfectly down to the ti...how one situation affects another, like how I just influenced my friend Jay to start a blog, or how inviting someone to Bible study or to the gym when they haven't been in so long but have been "meaning to go" just sparks back their interest and because of just one person, they get back into it again! What a positive aspect of life :) Life is SO GRAND, and I want everyone to feel what I feel for life. I want people to feel joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control. All the fruits of the spirit.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
God Has Blessed Me: My realizations...
God has blessed me tremendously and I have just come to many realizations:
He has blessed me beyond measure and I have been failing to see it time and time again in Sonoma. I have been surrounded by it and have just been missing the beauty! Through all of my beautiful family members who have helped me get settled in leading up to and during move-in weekend, my mom especially through just helping me with EVERYTHING I could possibly ever ask for, my amazing friends at home who support me with everything and in everything I am doing here at Sonoma and love me so hard, my mentors who are there for me when ever I call on them and love me so much as well, my new found friends I have already made who are already looking out for me and love me (Erin, Kelsey, Molly, Emily and IV girls :)), Blake, the amazing brother I have who calls me every day just to see if I need anything and how my day is going, to take me out to meals other than caf food and love me through everything, what a blessing to have his support, and I know I am missing others in my life who are a blessing to me. My support system is much bigger than I have been thinking in my head these past couple days, I got into this mindset of thinking just because I don't have my girls with me all the time to hang out with, I need to stop and really look around to see how many people care about me, not to mention uhh duh, GOD is at the top of the list, working through and providing those people in my life for me to have AS A BLESSING! AS MANY MANY MANY BLESSINGS! So hello JOY filled heart! I cannot lose heart just because one thing may go wrong throughout the day or I get annoyed with the girls I am living with, because that is only ONE bad thing in the midst of such a beautiful picture, and I need to just jump into God's arms and trust Him that He is going to carry me through this! I cannot give up on being myself and bringing myself into the lives of my roomates just because they are different than me and may need a little more time or a lot more time to come out of their shells. This is such an amazing journey that I need to be mindful of, and it is only starting! I am living in the present and not worrying about the future, because my Abba has that in His hands, and has me in His arms :) Goodnight moon.
He has blessed me beyond measure and I have been failing to see it time and time again in Sonoma. I have been surrounded by it and have just been missing the beauty! Through all of my beautiful family members who have helped me get settled in leading up to and during move-in weekend, my mom especially through just helping me with EVERYTHING I could possibly ever ask for, my amazing friends at home who support me with everything and in everything I am doing here at Sonoma and love me so hard, my mentors who are there for me when ever I call on them and love me so much as well, my new found friends I have already made who are already looking out for me and love me (Erin, Kelsey, Molly, Emily and IV girls :)), Blake, the amazing brother I have who calls me every day just to see if I need anything and how my day is going, to take me out to meals other than caf food and love me through everything, what a blessing to have his support, and I know I am missing others in my life who are a blessing to me. My support system is much bigger than I have been thinking in my head these past couple days, I got into this mindset of thinking just because I don't have my girls with me all the time to hang out with, I need to stop and really look around to see how many people care about me, not to mention uhh duh, GOD is at the top of the list, working through and providing those people in my life for me to have AS A BLESSING! AS MANY MANY MANY BLESSINGS! So hello JOY filled heart! I cannot lose heart just because one thing may go wrong throughout the day or I get annoyed with the girls I am living with, because that is only ONE bad thing in the midst of such a beautiful picture, and I need to just jump into God's arms and trust Him that He is going to carry me through this! I cannot give up on being myself and bringing myself into the lives of my roomates just because they are different than me and may need a little more time or a lot more time to come out of their shells. This is such an amazing journey that I need to be mindful of, and it is only starting! I am living in the present and not worrying about the future, because my Abba has that in His hands, and has me in His arms :) Goodnight moon.
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