Thinking with Sound

This constant sound, lets me be free in thought. Gypsy den music bands resound with their stories in tune and it lets me be free to think. Going into the Gypsy Den, i enter into a state of creative bliss and majic because everyone understands and there is a vulnerability going there because it is already opening itself up to you with its creativeness, there are other artists there expressing themselves, and they just get me. They inspire me with their mandalins, cellos, fluffed out don't care hair, harmonicas, harmonies, lamps, rugs on the walls, acoustic sounds, voices, humms and whisteling. The vibe is majical and transports me to a different place. There was a band tonight called This Frontier Needs Heroes, a brother and sister from Brooklyn, NY, and they sang some quite beautiful songs, one stuck out to me called Space Baby. It was so sweet. I felt like I could sit there for hours and just contemplate, write, and dream. Space Baby, it created the best kind of musical whimsical space for me to think. There was another guy with them named Levi, and he and the rest of the band along with this other fellow who plays piano usually on tuesday nights at Gypsy, all played together and i felt like I was in Bohemian France, a different time and place all together. It was so unreal, but I was so glad it really happened. What a dream. I am in such fancy. I shall sleep very well tonight. Ohh yes. Good night.

I Could Stay Here for A Week- Palm Springs

Top down on mom's solara. blasting music wind blowing through my hair, the whole bit. I am in paradise right now. Away from all reality of life, I could stay here for a week or two. Got here two days ago, have been laying out, feeling the sun on your skin is one of the best pros of life. There is nothing like feeling the rich beating sun on your skin, it is one of my favorite gifts from God. Looking at palm trees, oh howw I've missed them! When you drive down the main rd towards the desert mountains, all you see is nature ahead, it is so empowering just looking at the mountains, feeling like I could drive for days just to look at that view and listen to good music. I could just drive away all my problems and they would just disinigrate, fly out of my head past my hair and into the wind. My view has been so great at our hotel room. Cutest inn I've ever stayed in (no pun :p) We have a balcony, which are another pro of life, and looks out directly over the pool (so COOL!) All of the rooms have different countries flags hanging out of the balcony's, kind of a funky nice touch. I love this place, it is the perfect mix of chill and quirky palm desert vacation. The owner has this mustache that overwhelms the lower half of his face. Nicest man though. He can sport it. It matches his frizzy hair, like a balding einsten with a ponytail. So great. I have had a great stay, bonding with my mom has been so special, since we don't get to spend as much time together now that I am embedded in Sonoma State, but now I am more aware of how precious our time is together, which is good. Now time to go lay out one last time and get in the pool!

Second Chances

I find it quite amazing and smart and kind of God to create second chances. He knew what He was doing when He created those. For a variety or reasons, I will explain........ For instance, the world is SO far from being perfect, and God knew that, and since He is the only one that could create and live a perfect movie moment life for every moment of his life, and we couldn't, we only try through working our imaginations through music and movies. But there is no such thing as perfection in the real world life situations. I was just on my way home from running errands, listening to the country music station (the ushe), and there was a song called "Goodnight" about how this guy missed his chance to kiss his date, and he turned the car around and ran back up to her porch to kiss her. Fortunately, she was waiting for him to, and was thrilled he came back. He had a second chance, and in life, me personally, am so indecisive sometimes when it comes to choices with anything, and second chances are the BEST! It's not like I was wrong or anything less than okay to not make it right the first time, however, some second chances seem way more graceful and blessed than getting a second chance to change your coffee to a small instead of a medium..but either way, you always feel so good to get a second chance.

yea you did
yea you were an idiot and didn't ask me first chance you got
but yea you did
come back and that makes all the difference 
and yea you did
scoop me off my feet
made me feel like the princess that i was created to be

yea you are
yea you are the most amazing
the most fulfilling
the most worth my time
than any other fish in this sea
i have kissed others but they were just floundering guppies compared to you

yea you are
yea you are my only date
yea you are my only kiss goodnight
yea you are the only one for me
the only one for me

Skid Row

Today I went to Skid Row in LA with a few of my friends. My mentor Nolan came with a few of his high school students and I brought Eleanor, one of my high school students from St. John's, and my friend Scot came who's one of my Rock Harbor buds. This was my second time, and I was so blessed by all that went on today. Kimberly and Pastor Gerald are so awesome, such amazing people who love Jesus soo much! There were some people heping out that were new to me; these 4 motor cycle gang dudes, that are in a gang for JESUS! God expresses his personality in so many different fashions, shapes, personalities, and sizes it is so incred. There was also a mime there that performed an act to a gospel song that was so powerful. He had his face painted white with black lines. I dont know what the song is called, but the lyrics were SO beautiful! It went "I need you, you need me, I pray for you, you pray for me... I need you to survive, I won't harm you with words from my mouth.." I love those lyrics because we SO are in need of Jesus to SURVIVE! I think, completely different from those homeless people on skid row, who have such a more concrete reason to see their need for Jesus to survive, we suburben rich white folk over here in OC forget our need sometimes for Jesus to survive!!! We are so cozy with our lives that it barracades us away from Jesus, and puts up more of thick air between us and God our creator! We have to work harder at building up that relationship with Him! But coming to this today, was like watching a performance of God, watching how he works in sooo many different people and ways! He provided food, clothing, hygenic products, words of encouragement, wisdom, truth, love, joy, peace!!!! He used us to smile and be his hands and feet!! Amen!!! It was soo amazing! I love baptists because of the way they worship God, so expressive with their Amens! and Hallelujiahs!!!  Antoher thing I was blessed with was being able to pray during the service, got on a mic and everything! I love praying, and I want to get better at it, that is just be more able to speak in front of a large group of people. So I guess I want to practice in front of people more, I think it will help me be more bold to speak passionately about God!
One other thing: Kimberly shared a bunch of stories today, and one of them really made me think, she was saying how her and Gerald's house had to get completely re-wired because the lights were flickering and sizzling and crackling, and she said when they got home from church and saw what was happening, she said "AMEN thank you JESUS!!" She said this to the electrical repairman, and he said "Why are you hollering Amen? Most people yell the opposite" But Kimberly said Amen because "At least we have a house! Amen God prvided us with a home to live in! I'm so grateful!" She says God is always working, or doing a previous work because he knows what is to come in the future. So He knew that their lights were going to go out, but he gave them a house before!! So good!!!!!

Updates of My Life and Dining With Jesus

I wanted to read the gospels before Easter this year, that didn't end up happening so I am starting that journey now.
Matthew 1- now i read the christmas sotry with so much more appreciation, because of the significance of the Messiah coming to the people! Praise God!!!

Joseph in the line of Jesus from Abraham.
Immanuel means: "God with us"

Updates on my life::
Lately it has been almost as crazy this summer as college was! Because I am taking an online Nutrition class, working about 20 hours a week as a high school intern for St. John's, and trying to manage my other time with going to the gym, catching up with my friends, and also spending time with family. Now spending time with the Lord should always be number one, but there have been many mornings this week and last week where I havent been able to do a legit quiet time, but I am really working on that. I am blogging this morning because I finally have extra 30 min of time praise God! and I am finally catching up on my sleeping pattern. I feel like I am already a middle aged woman soemtimes because of the hours that i get up and go to bed. 730 am-10 haha, during the summer. I am an alien young adult haha. But God is so faithful. He always sees me through the day. No matter how crazy it can get. He gives me the fruits of the Spirit. I need to work on not being so crazy with my planning and schedualling, and trust that God will see me through much better than I can see myself through. I have a problem with trying to accomplish too many things in one day, or trying to hang out with people because I feel guilt if I havent seen them in a while without taking care of my body aka not sleeping, and putting too much pressure on myself. I don't have as much free time as I used to back when I was a junior or even a senior summer. But I really wouldn't want to have it any other way, God has blessed me with so much, and I just need to enjoy it! Not put so much pressure but just be and let it be amazing! 
Last week was my first week with St. John's as the High School intern, and it was perdy awesome getting to know the kids and helping out with logisitic stuff was a really good experience. I just am so thankful that God opened this door to work me in ministry, I dont want to take it for granted, because it really is the dream job! This week I got paid for getting food at Smart and Final, making some phone calls, and going to 2 beach bonfires! It was exhausting loading everything in and out, but I was so joyful that I got to be a part of the ministry that is goin on in these kids lives. Praise God! To be continued....

Risen!

Haven't posted for awhile, my apps (apologies). However, God has been blowing up my life and I want to just explode on this keyboard right now with just telling my stories of what has been happening lately. I guess I should start with an overview of my second semester, since first semester is pretty much in here. I'll start off with this list of things that I was able to accomplish with the hand of God holding my hand through it all.
Accomplishments:
got through anatomy with an A! praise god
getting through the every days with my roomate who was the complete opposite of me, being able to be calm thru the stress of sharing my space with her
finding joy in the midst of getting over mac at the beginning of the semester
getting healed from mac, a hard battle between my flesh and the spirit
learning how to be healed from God, which = an arduous process, might take surrendering every 5 min!! but seeing it get easier every day was the blessing
getting through 8 am classes every morning!
getting thorough and ending up finding joy in babsitting owen and lucy! there were times when I did not want to go or have the energy but every time i surrendered, God was holding my hand
finding the strength from God and God alone to see lindsay kissing mac and mac kissing lindsay right in front of me like it wasnot a big deal, and me being able to look past all of what the devil wanted me to think- the jealousy, anger, deceit, hurt, hate, anguish that i felt- but that love conquered all of those by ten hundred thousand fold!
getting healed from that ^^ -which was constant surrender and me beung humble before the King, my Abba, and remembering who Jesus is- praise God!
Lindsay apoligizing to me- sincerely and humbly- how our friendship was rekindled and she realy was so sorry- me forgiving her and us being able to have such a strong friendship -praise God!
me finding family in InterVarsity, legit family, they will do alot for me because of the Kingdom of God- praise God!
getting closer with people in inter varsity that i didnt think i would be close to, but because i surrendered God put more desire and love in my heart
getting blessed with malina, leighann, emily, and sage as my tight knit sisters- we care for each other so incredibly much and are living together next year! in basically a condo on campus dorms it will be a PALACE! talking about that will have to be a different post all together hehehe so excited to have a real homey home feeling up in sonoma. praise God!!
being an Apprentice for IV- getting to serve at large group and help out more with that! praise God!
still having my job as a babysitter for owen and lucy next year! praise God!
getting more classes than i even need! praise God for provision!
getting closer with my brother, mom, and dad even as we are all so busy- we are able to still have such amazing family time
learning how to adjust to college and transition lifestyle, time manage better, manage money better, not be so materialistic, and consumeristic! Go God soo good!
still be in good relationships with my friends from high school! praise god!
successfully finishing finals, packing, going on an all nighter, getting baptized (whole nother post on that one too) with kayla yayyy! and moving out my stuff into storage, moving out of my dorm and being able to keep my sanity ( for the most part) all  of this in one week. CRAZY! But God was faithful in holding my hand every step of the way!
being able to step out in various ways this semester whether teaching bible study for greek sorority girls, teaching bible study for my IV one, talking to so many random people about God, praying in all of those times, surrendering, receiving, accepting, I am so thankful. Praise God!

God, thank you for also letting Sage come and want to come to church with me! It is so amazing so see her heart be blossoming, please keep that fire going on in her heart this summer, even though she is not with her community at IV or us girls.
I feel so cleansed with the Holy Spirit! Ever since I got baptized, especially, I really do feel different on the inside. I feel literally like I am a new person, that there is this blossoming tree of life inside of me that is always there now. Like it is now like on fire all the time instead of like sometimes. I find myself just yearning for more than ever before from God. For the most part, I mean some mornings are better than others, but in the last week I have been so excited to jump into reading the bible in the morning. Last week, I was reading two chapters of Ecclesiastes every morning instead of my usual one chapter of Psalms. I have been exposed to so much love of God as well. Like I have learned, and it is an ongoing reminder for me, that God just wants me to love him and that doesnt look like doing a bunch of stuff. The actual act of doing something is MEANINGLESS (theme of ecc), only if your heart is in the right place and it is given to God does it mean anything. When we love Jesus and really truly love Him, our actions portray our heart, the rest is overflow.

I will start again with this last week, I could write for days on this last week, oh man holy moly me oh my. So on Sunday, I went to Rock Harbor in Costa Mesa with Malina and met her friend Gabby. Little did I know that we are now sisters in Christ, and I consider her my family. Gabby is so wise and has such a quiet humble yet confident spirit about her. She encouraged me that night so much as we talked about what God is doing in each of me malinas and gabby's life. I was informed about her mission to want to minister to "the hipster gen" in Huntington. She attends OCC and God has made her so unique for her mission. We talked about all of our friends who aren't walking with Jesus right now, and prayed for each of them. It was majical and the Holy Spirit moved each one of our hearts to pray alot. We talked about injustices, food, France (cuz Gabby went there, so sick!), music, coffee, boys (cuz we all need help on that subj!) haha. It was so blessed, and so great. This was all even before church started at the 9! Praise God! We were hanging out in the "Hanger" which is this awesome building that has all of the offices for RH, and also a Library with theological books, a sick prayer room with chalked out walls and you can write prayers, and they have some snazzy ikea decor, and pillows such a beautiful idea to have a prayer room. There is also a room with entertainment stuff for the youth like board games, couches, the Wii, foosball, and a freaking Kitchen where they cook food after the service to encourage community and meeting people! So rad! Rock Harbor really impressed me and I was so stoked to be there, it was changed for the better since about 8 months ago when I had been there last. Church was amazing: the worship, the sermon, the response was so good. So many people were just in tune with the spirit. After we got to talk more, pray more and after that night I really felt like Gabby and I had an inseperabl bond just from one night! How great is Gods love!

Brokenness, exhaustion, surrendering, God's blessing and favor as well!

Was totally broken down today during babysitting, and just happy to be done with the lecture test. Surrendered when God tested my patience today with Lucy and Owen fighting, lost cell phone, but found it, went to park and had to carry 50 lb bike on my shoulders, but praising God kept me through it the whole time! Just reminding myself and speaking truth into it, that God is molding me and shaping me! But after work, God blessed me so much with fullfilling Bible study 1 Galations- walking with the spirit vs the desires of the flesh, and Swirl time delishisness with sarah, her happiness was with the holy spirit inside of her and she said the one thing that made my week- that jsut seeing me she felt happier, cuz she had a crappy day, i felt so loved my God. God blessed me also with bible study 2- nail painting and chit chat with the girls, joking and talking even more about God, and that I am so thankful that he is so legit! His truth never fails, neither does His love! Amen! And on top of all that, when i got an A on my lab test, i found out tonight that i also got an A on my lecture test for anatomy! Wahhoooo!!!!!!!!! So happy to hear that such a blessing that I got such a high score! Just less studying I hve to do for finals!! Praise God for his goodness and favor and blessings!!!!!!
Accomplishments